The Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016)

This one started with a dead phone. I was recording a new venture for this account, and my camera died, so while charging all of my batteries, I decided to take a chance and watch this one, which up until now I had been nervous about committing to. But I did it today.

The Autopsy of Jane Doe, currently streaming on Shudder, is a combination murder mystery ghost story. A father and son medical examiner and technician team are working on a Jane Doe, who is found under mysterious circumstances, and whose body keeps many secrets that it has yet to reveal. As the story goes on, the father, performed by Brian Cox - Tommy, and the son, performed by Emile Hirsch - Austin, realize that the dead woman has brought hauntings their way and will not let them, or any BODY else in the mortuary, rest. Haha, get it?

Firstly, the acting of our two male leads was mmmmm how shall I say, mid. I didn't feel that they were realistic by any means, and not only were they disappointing performances for most of the time, but they were tragically corny. In fact even funny. It was hard to take this film seriously, when everything that can go wrong, will go wrong, and there are seemingly no solutions that will work to fight the evil. Not to mention that the scares were predictable at best. Which is sad to say, because I had high hopes for this one. I will laud the special effects and the impressive use of both practical and digital effects in this one.

Emma's death, and Emma, performed by Ophelia Lovibond, were frankly not interesting to me at all. Like there was not at all a deep enough connection between Austin and Emma to warrant high drama, and the acting wasn't worth speaking to. Even the relationship between Tommy and Austin didn't feel that deep, and they're supposed to be father and son? Not in my book.

Now for the good stuff; the SFX makeup and props? Holy shit did they look amazing. The Team listed here did a phenomenal job on prosthetics and styling of horror makeup for this piece. If anything was believable in this one it was the gore. It was extra bloody and extremely disgusting, which I live for.

The revelation that Jane Doe was alive throughout this entire experience didn't surprise me one bit, but I was happy that it was built upon instead of being the one final blow to the audience in the finale. The very closely following second revelation that she was a Witch (TM) from the Salem Witch Trial Era, and from that area, was even more of a facepalm for me. I just didn't like the idea that the witches are truly responsible for our suffering (eye roll). Lastly, the third and final revelation, that Tommy would suffer the same things she did so that she would stop cursing people, and then subsequently that Austin would have to kill his own father felt sad, but again was rather lost on me. I didn't care enough about these characters to will them to live.

The part I DID like was that, in the end, nothing mattered because everyone died. And the Witch repaired herself and was sent on to torture someone else. Lovely.

So people are asking for a sequel to this one, as it seems to have warranted a cult following, and I can see how it was somehow charming, and warrants a re-watch for the jumps and jeepers in you all, but I like where it ended - it implies that she is getting eternal revenge for the evil imposed upon her by the people who murdered her.

Overall, this one was a short fun spook, but don't read into it too much, just watch it for the killer makeup and SFX, for sure.

Catch ya on the flip side.

-B