Holy moly do I have a doozie for you this week. If you haven't yet watched Escaping Twin Flames on Netflix, boy you better. This one is quite unique, as it follows the story of a few survivors from a cult that PROMISES "Harmonious Union" with a "Twin Flame," NO MATTER THE COST. And I am so serious about that phrasing. I'm talking Jail Time, folks...
Now before we get into this series - I must provide you with three definitions, and then some.
1 - High Demand/Control Group - " High-control groups such as cults often encourage their believers to disengage from so-called 'world affairs', shun or limit interaction with nonbelievers, and maintain a distinct identity separate from mainstream culture, reinforcing group cohesion and control. The emphasis on isolation and exclusivity can likewise contribute to the group's sense of identity and reinforce adherence to its beliefs and practices "
2 - Cult - " a religion regarded as unorthodox or not genuine "
3 - Religion - " a personal set or institutionalized system of religious attitudes, beliefs, and practices " OR " a cause, principle, or system of beliefs held to with ardor and faith "
All three of these are SO slightly different that we cannot truly call them the same thing, but very often a HCG and Cult are nearly the same. That being said - I prefer to stick with these commentaries when looking into Cults and High Control Groups, but perhaps not always mass-followed religions:
"Any ideology -- that is, any set of emotionally-charged convictions about man and his relationship to the natural or supernatural world -- may be carried by its adherents in a totalistic direction. But this is most likely to occur with those ideologies which are most sweeping in their content and most ambitious or messianic in their claim, whether a religious or political organization. And where totalism exists, a religion, or a political movement, becomes little more than an exclusive cult." - Dr. Robert J. Lifton - Eight Criteria for Thought Reform
"A high-demand, high-control religion is a faith community that requires obedience; discourages its members from questioning its rules, principles, and practices; expects subservience and loyalty; discourages trusting relationships outside the group; perpetuates the notion that those within the group are right and superior to those outside of it; promotes extreme or polarizing beliefs; and expects its members to suppress their authentic selves in exchange for the sense of belonging and security the group offers. Even if you haven’t been part of a religion that fits this profile, you’ve probably encountered groups characterized by some of these elements, whether in the form of a family system, a couple struggling with domestic violence, or a political group.
The difference between a religion and other groups exhibiting high-demand, high-control characteristics is often a matter of breadth and degree. When you’ve grown up in a community saturated in rigid or extreme beliefs that permeate all aspects of your life, social networks, and identity, transitioning out of it doesn’t mean changing one thing. It may mean changing everything. As a result, the simple act of seeking help from someone outside the group is a huge, radical, and often terrifying step. Clients who take it need support not just in leaving a way of life that no longer suits them, but in rebuilding their lives from the ground up." - Psychotherapy Networker
"You will notice that there is a great deal of overlap between extremist and high-control groups. Yet only a few of the latter develop into extremist groups. This is largely because they remain part of major world religious or political networks and are prevented from becoming too extreme by their dependence on others who keep them accountable, and by other external pressures, such as a dominant secular and democratic culture which empowers individual choice and diversity and makes a population more resistant to manipulation and deceit." - Secular Liturgies
Episode 1: Smoke & Mirrors
I'll tell you one thing about this series - it doesn't hold back. It starts strong with a clip of Jeff and Shaleia talking about their massive income and luxury car(s) that come from the TFU (Twin Flames Universe) High Control Group classes that several people were paying around $300/month for. This is immediately juxtaposed with the families of victims speaking about struggles with losing their loved ones to TFU. This is then also juxtaposed by a survivor talking about the reason they joined the TFU, and promises that Jeff and Shaleia made to them - the "guarantee" that they would have a harmonious union after taking the classes about "Twin Flame Ascension." Yeah. Basically, these people were invested financially and emotionally in finding a perfect relationship with one's self and with another - the true twin flame.
Now let's talk about the Mirror exercise. It is effectively a self-sabotaging tool - a way to take negative interactions in the world and recontextualize it to be self-focused. For example, "I am upset that Sandy hurt my feelings," becomes "I am upset that I hurt my feelings." This is a form of brainwashing- the focus of every negative interaction becomes highly internalized and personal. Jeff and Shaleia used this exercise to convince their followers to go along with them.
Lack of sleep.
Financial demands.
Controlled eating.
Isolation from outside connections.
And suddenly the second coming of Christ.
We'll get to that later. But yeah. To an outsider, this is CLEARLY a very aggressively controlling High Demand Group or Cult.
Jeff and Shaleia meet online and suddenly decide to become a team, conning others out of their money and happiness. Was it conscious at first? I say yes. I think they planned it from the beginning, simply because Jeff was already looking for ways to cheat others out of their hard-earned money before he met Shaleia. They eventually came up with TFU after several spiritual-healing website attempts. Including websites that came with the promise to cure cancer through spiritual ascension.
The next few clips involve two sets of sisters who talk about how they have been split up from their siblings due to TFU, and how they've lost the important humans in their lives because of TFU's demands and control. Some of these women (and they mostly are women) were extremely young when they started with TFU (as young as 18). Probably naive and vulnerable to someone older who believes life should be lived a certain way. Some of these individuals in the group are encouraged to reconnect with exes that were unhealthy and shitty humans, including abusers and manipulators, under the pretense that these were simply obstacles to overcome to be with the Twin Flame, and not literally deal breakers.
What really bothered me about this first episode though, was the false sense of community. From In-Person meet ups that felt like "family" to the "golden-age" of TFU comprised of several desperate individuals who were starved for some kind of meaningful relationship all the way to warping each person's concept of family, self, and romance. The concept of "soul-family" was preventing several individuals from continuing a relationship with what might be a troubled, but authentic relationship with a true or chosen family that does indeed love them back, and wouldn't be playing them for their money or emotional energies.
And then the lack of authentic connection with the supposed "Twin Flames" that are the one true loves of the cult-members. For example, Marlee's "TWIN FLAME" was some rando on the internet (that I think Jeff and Shaleia set up for Marlee) that Marlee didn't have any connection with at all. She admits that she didn't like this individual, and yet Jeff and Shaleia really took advantage of Marlee's emotions and pushed her to join this "Joshua" in order to meet in "Harmonious Union." And move in together. You know. At her age of 19. Oh and by the way he's on probation. I just. Can't believe Jeff and Shaleia didn't know what they were doing the entire time. They totally did.
And then suddenly we see Keely and Colby (who are supposedly Twin Flames in Harmonious Union at this point) get married after two months of dating. Yes literally.
Oh and don't even get me started with ELLE. Holy SHIT. I'm genuinely shocked at her story.
After her car accident and severe injuries, the supposed "Love of her Life" broke up with her. Her brokenness led her to TFU, and they began to tell her to GO BACK TO HER EX and that HE WAS HER TWIN FLAME. This led to a restraining order placed against her, and then Jeff and Shaleia told her to IGNORE IT and that she should continue to pursue the relationship.
Surprise surprise, she ends up in jail after trying to "love herself" and to love her Twin Flame despite his boundaries. This is so fucked. Not to mention that in jail she's doing the Mirror Exercise to continue to brainwash herself.
There is a literal video recording of Jeff stating (and Shaleia nodding along) that nothing, literally nothing matters except this union of the Twin Flames. Not exes, personal protection orders, children, marriages, etc.
Not even to mention that this is also a MLM, as several of the group members become employees and coaches for the other members with the end goal of hiring more and making more money from their coaches and students, and then eventually reaching this fictitious harmonious union.
Let me tell you something right now - there is no such thing. Love is a choice that you make every day for the person you choose to be with. It is not just a feeling or spiritual state for the entirety of the relationship, and there is certainly no divine feminine juxtaposed with a divine masculine. Just two individuals who are attracted to and who continue to love each other as a choice as time goes on. THAT's Love.
This concept of the Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine having spiritual ascension sex is another flaw I see in this group. Frequently in cults like this, the man is the sexual guide and the woman is there to serve, and in the TFU cult, there is nothing special. The men are in control of the sex, and Jeff and Shaleia push for this in every relationship. They still do. For example; "You don't even look like the same [person] anymore. You're someone's woman." Direct quote from Jeff. Literally.
And then Marlee is celebrated as being brave, and then blamed for letting her Twin Flame's poor choices bother her. So she was guided to Mirror.
And then Elle was told she has no control over herself and to have more discipline. So she was guided to Mirror.
And then Elle has a memory in jail of saying to Jeff that she feels like he's trying to hurt her.
And he replies:
"How could I hurt you?"
And that's just episode one.
Episode 2: Playing with Fire
So the TFU owners have decided that, in order to force a "harmonious union" between all of their members, (y'know because they have guaranteed that with their courses) they would claim that all of their members were in harmonious union with each other and that several of those individuals were a "Divine Feminine" or "Divine Masculine" and push them to act as such even though it didn't match up with their most comfortable gender-expression.
The owners of this TFU bullshit also encouraged the members of TFU to pursue these individuals regardless of any boundaries or obstacles that might be in their way - even disrespecting the supposed "Twin Flame" of the TFU Member's personal boundaries. And then they would be supported by the TFU owners for being "honeybadgers of love." Sure, Jan.
Then, the next steps that a High-Control Group typically follows generally begin. Each individual in TFU would get classes in exchange for hard work (free labor).
Jeff and Shaleia were selling love and would eventually make the MAP (Mind Alignment Process) situation. Which is essentially brainwashing through fabricated trauma-bonding. I can't explain it better than that. The MAP brainwasher convinced the members that their families were abusing them.
The families, who were mostly very normal it seems, were trying to get back in contact with their loved ones and really couldn't, in most cases, simply because most of these individuals who went thru MAP were convinced that their families had harmed them.
And on top of that, the MAP brainwasher was using military clout to remain in control.
Then there's this Divine Dish thing and there are other businesses and schemes that Jeff and Shaliea have to hook people and get them really into the mess in order to exploit their vulnerability for money.
Surprise Surprise, suddenly some of the individuals become CEO's for another monetary level to bring cash right back around to the owners.
And can I soap-box for a second; these people, Jeff and Shaliea, are indeed OWNERS. They make money from this because these different facets of TFU are COMPANIES. They are not well-to-do individuals AT ALL, at least based on what I've seen in this documentary.
So of course they turn this bullshit into a Religion to avoid taxes and claim that Jeff is the new coming of Christ.
Yeah. Nobody liked that.
And then Jeff told them that the consequences of the financial scheming and tax avoidance were imaginary.
Nobody liked that either.
Then we get back into the divine feminine and masculine again. One of the former TFU members reached out to their supposed Twin Flame, and they turned her down. She brought her doubt to the group and the owners shamed her in front of the group for not doing enough to win him over.
And as the expert that is consulted for this piece says - the victims also become the perpetrators of abuse.
Elle has a kind of breakthrough and gets fired from her executive position, 10000% because she called out the owners and high-ups of abusive brainwashing behavior.
The high-ups continue to abuse the TFU members and lower coaches by convincing them to settle and to accept the relationships they have been forced into. It really has begun to spin out of control by this point, and nobody in the real fucking world knows about it. And it only gets worse from here.
Then we have the girl on Facebook who took her own life because "she stopped working on her internal blocks." Like, are you fucking kidding me? Now you have blood on your hands because you want to use and manipulate people, and use their money? Disgusting.
People start leaving at this point, and a Journalist publishes an article on the situation, and the news breaks to the world, finally. Several parents of the TFU members spoke out in the article, as well as former members, and those still participating in TFU thought that the world who believed in this article was crazy and that the people who were concerned about the situation were haters and, very clearly, the enemy - as the "Security Team" for TFU were told that former members were the utmost enemy they could have and that they should be kept on their radar. Probably because those were the people who were going to out them.
Then Jeff starts suing former members as well as members' families in order to shut them up. Ok, Jeff and Shaleia. If your "Courses" were so valid and uplifting, you wouldn't have to silence anybody about them. The course's positivity would speak for itself. But it doesn't, now does it?
So a shitload of the members wanted to finally be in Harmonious Union with their Twin Flames, because that's what their course guarantees, and so Jeff and Shaliea decide that all of the members are in Harmonious Union with all of each other. Ok Jeff and Shaliea.
Way to cover your asses.
So this is when things really start to get in the weeds.
They begin to push this weird binary understanding of gender that there are only divine masculine and feminine, and no such thing as non-binary. But this means if there are two females in a Twin Flame Union, that means that one of them are a "Divine Masculine," or for lack of better words, a Trans-Man. There is no such thing as androgeny. There is no such thing as homosexuality. Masculine and masculine cannot be together and feminine and feminine cannot be together because you "MUST" have both feminine AND masculine.
But that's the thing.
As one of the former members points out - it's not Jeff and Shaleia's place to determine which gender or energy that any one individual identifies with - that's each individual's own responsibility. Nobody can force anybody else to love a specific person, or BE a specific person.
Nobody. Not even someone who says they're god.
Episode 3: Up in Flames
So Jeff and Shaliea announce a two-day in-person workshop in Arizona in order to have newcomers meet the suddenly brand-new several sets of "successful" Twin Flame Unions that they have just made up. These are the couples that Jeff and Shaliea fabricated in order to boost their numbers and to follow thru on their false guarantee.
So people obviously don't want to fall in line with this and begin leaving as they choose, but some individuals choose to follow the pipeline into the cult and stay with it to the furthest ends. Even so far as getting top surgery and bottom surgery.
And then we see that one of the fabricated relationships led to an arranged marriage between two individuals who had only known each other for a few weeks.
And then another individual in another "union" moving forward with those transitional surgeries.
This is all incredibly harmful to those who don't actually want to participate, but to those who are completely convinced, this is the right thing to do in their minds.
Sometimes when divers are at the bottom of a water-filled cave, it's hard to tell which way is up. Y'know what I mean? When you're so far in the shit, and you're convinced that this is the right path because you're scared or frightened of what might happen, whether you're conscious of it or not, or literally for any other reason- you can only meet yourself where you are, and it's truly not easy to get out.
So they do another brainwashing session called a "Divine Healing Group" (ok, lol), and they reveal to those members of the group that each of them was actually a trans man, and had masculine energies. They were required to change their clothes and hair, adopt male pronouns, and change their names. Against their will.
My favorite part of this segment was seeing Keely, who perpetuated the brainwashing, admit to her guilt and describe the complexity of being both a victim and abuser.
She was hosting and pushing and abusing during these Divine Healing Group Sessions and was named a CEO of the company earlier on. She was one of the first individuals to find her Twin Flame Harmonious Union and was propped up as an example to all the rest. I can't say for sure if I believe her tears, because who knows how much money she made from the abuse, but I appreciate her candidness in the interview.
We switch back over to the group of family members of those individuals still trapped in TFU, especially the mothers who have lost their children to the cult.
So then we meet the moms of the TFU members who chose to go thru top surgery (and possibly bottom surgery at some point), and have chosen to be called by He/Him, so I will be doing so as well. The problem I have with most of this is the rash decision-making and the speed at which all of these decisions were made. I feel that most individuals who elect to go through ANY elective surgery, especially sexual re-assignment surgery, must think long and hard about the conviction they have to go through the process. Are they willing to suffer for what they want? Are they changing for themselves or for others? These procedures are very hard on the body, and difficult to recover from, and to go thru these procedures on the whim of a cult is questionable at best. Doing any major elective surgery just because someone else wants you to have it is a bad idea iin general.
These people, Jeff and Shaliea, are a business. And every business is going to try to get as much money and control out of you as possible. I really like what Cassius Adair says about this - most of these individuals are not saying - "I want to get closer to who I AM," instead what they're saying is - "I want to get closer to who I'm supposed to be," i.e. "who I'm being TOLD I am by the cult." So all of these individuals going through elective surgeries and sudden marriages and abandoning their support systems are all very wild to me, because they're not thinking at all before doing exactly what this cult is telling them to do. They're not thinking for themselves.
I'm not sure if it's because it's easier, or they're desperate to be assigned a truth somehow, or even if they're bored, but somehow Jeff and Shaliea have a hold on them.
Angie watches a video of herself lying to the group that she was happy to be a "Divine Masculine." And then points out that she knew how to tell the group what they wanted to hear, even if it totally wasn't true. She talks about how they were coerced and pushed to change in private, and then in public, or in front of other group members, it was made to appear more like each member's personal choice instead.
As the main players in the series start to choose to leave, Jeff and Shaliea announce that they're pregnant with their holy divine child and rope people back in.
They really pushed for this baby to be the holy one, but then the pregnancy was not viable. So they do a D&C and claim that the baby will come back another way. All I have to say about this baby, and then the following bullshit about moving to a commune in Michigan and having "Golden Children," is that it was just a further form of control. They were taking advantage of the fact that their members wanted children and partners. They wanted for these couples to all move to Michigan and live on a farm together, to have their own Golden Children, and somehow raise them in the faith. Oh and did I mention that most of the sexes of these individuals were female? And they became female couples? And so the group started talking about having a sperm donor to be able to bring about the children, and Jeff said he would be in control of that. Which sounds exactly like it would probably become.
And then Keely really digs in and admits that it begins to come to her that she is, indeed, an abuser in a cult. She and her partner leave the group and go grab Marlee out of Utah, and make HER leave her abusive partner.
We have this lovely moment where Keely and Marlee, sisters, talk about their relationship now, after TFU. Which is nonexistent (surprise surprise). Keely does seem to feel genuinely guilty and mentions that she wants to reconnect with her sister.
We see more and more of these individuals who have invested time and money into this cult choose to leave, despite the threats and false promises that Jeff and Shaliea perpetuated.
More body-altering surgeries. More financial manipulation. More abuse being perpetuated. And more weigh-ins from the view that this is a cult. A really nasty one at that; one that preys on the desire for love and acceptance.
So the survivors talk for a bit and we see people advising the survivors to speak with the authorities in the area, and then we see Keely and Angie have a conversation, and apologize to each other about harming each other and coercing each other.
There is a beautiful moment of forgiveness between the two, and I really appreciate that they recorded this, because there is LIFE AFTER BEING IN A CULT! You CAN MOVE ON!
It may be hard to navigate, but the way out is there. It always is.
In the end, the former members and current members' families come together to search for some kind of way to stop the cult and what they're doing before more people get hurt.
Sadly, because of all of the bullshit paperwork Jeff and Shaleia got people to sign, they are not liable, and all actions made by the TFU members were, legally, of their own free will, although they were coerced and threatened.
In the End
I think in the end, this series really taught me to never let my guard down. Because really anybody can say anything to you if it'll make them money. Also, if someone seriously believes they are the one authority on anything, especially salvation or happiness, they're not reasonable enough to listen to for any reason.
-B
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